A small-town Southern prosecuting attorney called his first witness, an elderly grandmother to the stand. He approached her and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know me?"
She responded, "Why yes, I do know you Mr. Williams. I've known you since you were a boy and frankly, you've been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, and you manipulate people and talke about them behind their backs. You think you're a big shot when you haven't the brains to realize you'll never amount to anything more than a small-time, two-bit paper pusher. Yes. I know you."
The lawyer was stunned. Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney?"
She again replied, "Why, yes, I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster too. He's lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking problem. He can't build a normal relationship with anyone, and his law practice is known as one of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention he has cheated on his wife with three women that I know of, and one of them was your wife. Yes, I know him."
The defense attorney nearly had a stroke on the spot.
The judge at this point asked both counselors to approach the bench and, in a very quiet voice, said, "If either of you idiots asks her if she knows me, I'll send both of you to the electric chair."
B.N. Lavender
Capt. (LDO) USMC (Ret.)
Some people wonder all their lives if they've made a difference. The Marines don't have that problem.” Ronald Reagan
